Monday, October 4, 2010

Struggling to Educate, or are we?

I went and did it again. Got my panties all worked up into a bunch over my kids, their intelligence, and school. (This still means I'm a good mother though, correct?)

At each point in Zak and Izeah's lives, I was worried as well. This is nothing new. Zak barely spoke until he was three. I let others' chit chat and worry over his lack of speech over come me and forgot to breath... I worried, read books on development, practiced "adult like speaking" to him ALL THE TIME, etc. Then one day in the kitchen, Zak looked at me and said, "Mom, can I have more juice please?" Clear. As. Day. So basically, he spoke when he was ready. (And now he's such a smarty I never worry.)

Then Izeah went to school. First Kindergarten conference didn't go so well... he was not meeting "standards" set forth by the school district. We buckled down, did flash cards, read to him some more, and by Christmas? It was almost as if a light switch just flipped in his little mind and he was completely caught up. Reading, writing, learning, meeting all of those ever important "standards".

Now it's Zane's turn. Yep, just had conferences. Not so hot, not so hot at all. So I made my little flash cards, have school supplies set to go, and it's time to buckle down once more....

I am worried of course, but last night, having "beer talks" with my husband, I realized a few things....

1. Zane is JUST FINE.

The end. :)

Ok, not really. He will need some extra help of course. I do plan on having "school" at home during their break and we will work daily on simple things I take for granted (ABC's, 123's, all of those small building blocks of knowledge)....

I just need to remember the very basic thing I learned with child number one... I need to throw away those damn parenting books and not pay so much attention to those "standards". Every single child is different and learns at different paces and in different ways. If there is truly a problem, we will know. Zane is bright, funny, inquisitive, friendly, and has a heart of gold. All things that will make him a unique and beautiful person. I need to remember that I'm going to love him whether he meets those "standards" or not. I need to remind myself to take a deep breath.

"It's important that you not try to pre-determine your child's academic future. You can fit a square peg in a round hole if you have a big enough hammer and don't care about how you go about squeezing it in. But this certainly isn't the most effective method. It would be better to find the right hole to put that peg in."


  1. Welcome back. It's been a while.

    Sounds like you have a sensible approach. Standards in Kindergarten? There are a lot of adjustments for kids to make starting kindergarten. I would not worry too much about generalized standards for 5 year olds. Socialization is more important.

  2. Thanks Jerry! Life ebbs and flows, as does my blogging now :) And yes, the government has placed standards now, even in kindergarten. Sad really. Yet, you say what my hubby says... he has the socialization skills and heart to carry him through :)