Part Time Mom, Part Time Servant, Zero Me.

This might be a long one, and my writing skills will suck. If I don't write it here though, I'm probably going to yell at someone who doesn't deserve it so hi bloggy world, I have a bitch....

Here is what I do. I stay at home about 1/2 the days in the week. The days that I do work, I have to arrange childcare for the 3 boys that I normally take to and pick up from school everyday, at different times none the less. I keep a pretty tight budget. I pick up the house every. single. day. I try to do laundry, try to figure out dinner daily, help at my children's school, and pretty much everything else you can think of that needs to be done, I will do it. I plan the vacations and I man down a calendar that's usually filled 3 months ahead of time. Im always looking for deals/sales/coupons so that my family isn't blowing money where it doesn't need to be blown. I plan a grocery list all the time because if you go with out a plan, well... that's just dumb. I may not do all this in a timely manner all the time (because it seems that there is usually something else that pops up that is more immediate then my never ending list) but yes, it all gets done. I'm pretty sure that I have forgotten about 100 things in the above paragraph as well.

SO whoever wants to say that being a stay at home mom is easy or no work, well you can pretty much blow me.

Hmmmmm.... maybe I should go back to work, then I wouldn't have to take care of everything else. Then I wouldn't have to hear things that people say to me that end up making me feel guilty about staying home. Then I could also stop being the one that everyone turns to when they need something done or they need a favor. Maybe I should stop picking up in the mornings, since I've been told that it doens't look like I pick up anything.

(Yes... that is our dog's poop. Least he did it by the toilet.)

(Hi boys! Ready for school....)

Recently though, with all of this, I have been feeling like I have lost myself lately doing all these things as well. I have turned into an OCD neat freak with the kids (which it's not their faults, they're just kids for christ's sake). I have forgotten all things that I'm passionate about as well.... learning about simplifying our lives, trying to change our diet to a healthy and more purposeful diet, learning about woman's rights, art, reading, sewing etc. I have turned into a bad friend for some of my best friends, and I've turned into a shoulder for everyone else to cry on. I play go-between for family and friends ALL THE TIME and try to keep the peace. Oh, and if you find me sitting in front of the computer during the day? It's usually doing something NON fun like balancing the budget or trying to plan a trip for our family.

I think what I'm trying to say is that I can't move mountains and I certainly can't grow wings to work faster, never be late, or get it ALL done. Something is going to change around here. I don't know what yet, but something. For starters... I think I'm going to stop answering my phone all the time. Then I'm going to learn how to say NO more often. And until some people start learning to say thank you? I'm not doing everything I do anymore.