Yep. It's (was) my burfday....

Sooo.... I started writing this post about 2 weeks ago, when I actually turned 30, but we had a 10 day car trip to Florida to do so alas, I'm just now posting it :)

I've been toying with the idea that 30 is a big change for me, but in reality, I've broken it down and I'm pretty sure I'm ok with the fact that I'm 30 now. I've learned alot in my short little 30 years of life.... I have some friends who hate the idea, some who have embraced it. I think I'm on the embracing side, and this is why....

--Turning 30 is a big "health" step for me. I'm not saying I know everything there is to know about the body, but the way I see it (and yes, some docs even agree) 30 is the point in your life when you get the chance to fix all he F*d up shit you did to your body when you were in your 20's. This is the time that I need to stand up and take notice of what I've done to myself. It's time to start paying attention to all the little "symptoms" I've had lately.... It's time to quit smoking (in the very near future), it's time to check my blood work, it's time to stop abusing my body and embrace it, learn about it, and understand it.

--I've also learned that I have emotions. I've had people tell me that I'm "too emotional" at times.... but now? Once again, I'm ok with those emotions. I would much rather be passionate about how I feel then to lack emotion. Of course I sometimes over do the emotional thing but I'm ok with that as well. :) Call me bipolar, call me moody, call me a bitch, don't care really. I am what I am, I've been this way for 30 years now, and I'm obviously doin ok, so why change it?

--Im learning that I have alot of friends. I have people who rearranged schedules to come out to dinner with me on my 30th birthday. I have friends who came out even though they're preggos and would much rather sit at home on the couch :) It makes me very happy to know that I've given love and I've received love as well :)

-- This one might come as a shock (or not at all) but it only took 30 years to say this: I like my body. I think sitting on the beach might have just oober confirmed this for me as well ;) I've always been so insecure and of course I still would love to lose a few pounds (who wouldn't?) but when I saw other confident women, who might I add had larger middle sections then mine, walking around in bikinis??? I digress and I should have slapped mine on!

-- I've lived through a lot. I can withstand the forces of life and keep moving forward. I like only being 30 and knowing this.

-- And last but not least: THIRTY IS THE NEW TWENTY! Watch out world! ;-)

*AHEM* Public School, I have a problem....

My children attend public school. This is my choice. However I do honestly believe that my heart is somewhere else. I love the idea of homeschooling my children, but I know my limitations and that is just not something I can do at this point in my life. I do try my hardest to stay involved in where they go to school though. I'm the PTA secretary and am present for most all of their school events. I volunteer my time and I pay attention to what they are learning and reinforce it at home. I disagree with a lot of public school "ideals" and try to make up where they fail. (Yes, they fail miserably in some areas, like art, music, etc.).

Another reason that I have sent my children to public school is to learn about different family levels of income. I said that badly but to give you an idea, my children are two of only 30 out of 300 students that don't have reduced or free lunch. I like the idea that my children are attending a racially diverse school and they have friends that come from families of different income levels. It's a part of life, learning about society, socioeconomic statuses, and culture. I don't want them growing up in an all white private school. If we shield our children with blinders now, then how are they supposed to learn and grow? (And before I get blasted for my last statement, if public school ever were to become the REASON my children ARE NOT learning? I will pull them out in a heart beat.)

However I'm getting my panties in a bunch over the latest new public school rule....

Last week the day of my PTA meeting, Zaky and Ziggy (uh, that's Izeah) informed me that they had a new "rule" at their school. If they were tardy, they would lose their recess for the day.

EXCUSE ME!?!?!?!?

At first I thought my ears were lying to me... or that they exaggerated some new rule and made it sound horrible. SO I went to the PTA meeting and discussed it with the principal. From our conversation I learned that tardies are a big problem at our school. During the 3 day state testing a few weeks ago though, there were very few tardies for 3 days in a row. Therefore the principal and parent liaison decided to try the "no recess for tardies" rule out for ONE day. It was an experiment and it was supposed to not happen again. I ended up voicing my opinion that if this happens again, or becomes an established rule, I would have a HUGE problem with this and would go to the school board. If a child is tardy, it is the parents fault (at this grade level). In the rare instance that it IS the child's fault, I feel another means of punishment should be used. End of our discussion.

Then today, I heard "through the grapevine" that they are going to try this rule again.

Now first, I think I'm going to validate this little rumor.

BUT SECOND, if this so called rule is VALID, I do believe I am going to have to go directly to the city school board. I will not be going to the principal again, being as it resulted in nothing if this happens... AND if the school board doesn't listen? Then next on my list will be local news stations.... and so on and so forth until my point is heard and this rule goes away. What is my point you say?

MY POINT: Recess should not be taken away from a child. In the deepest part of my heart I honestly believe that every child, no matter how bad or mean or horrible they are NEEDS RECESS. They need that free time from restriction and thinking. They need the ability to run, scream, and play. Hell, even walking around outside in a lap would be more acceptable to me then keeping children inside for the entire school day. Adults are granted this right... we all get lunch breaks correct? (Well, in an ideal setting...) Even INMATES are granted outside privileges.

Does anyone reading this disagree?

In the end, I strongly feel that just because I have chosen public school for my children, this doesn't mean that my opinion doesn't count. In my world it means that if you don't like something about your public school system, then I will stand up and make a difference, hopefully even make a change. After all, if all we do is bitch, then we're all just part of the problem and not the solution. (Yeah yeah yeah... cliche, I know :)

Part Time Mom, Part Time Servant, Zero Me.

This might be a long one, and my writing skills will suck. If I don't write it here though, I'm probably going to yell at someone who doesn't deserve it so hi bloggy world, I have a bitch....

Here is what I do. I stay at home about 1/2 the days in the week. The days that I do work, I have to arrange childcare for the 3 boys that I normally take to and pick up from school everyday, at different times none the less. I keep a pretty tight budget. I pick up the house every. single. day. I try to do laundry, try to figure out dinner daily, help at my children's school, and pretty much everything else you can think of that needs to be done, I will do it. I plan the vacations and I man down a calendar that's usually filled 3 months ahead of time. Im always looking for deals/sales/coupons so that my family isn't blowing money where it doesn't need to be blown. I plan a grocery list all the time because if you go with out a plan, well... that's just dumb. I may not do all this in a timely manner all the time (because it seems that there is usually something else that pops up that is more immediate then my never ending list) but yes, it all gets done. I'm pretty sure that I have forgotten about 100 things in the above paragraph as well.

SO whoever wants to say that being a stay at home mom is easy or no work, well you can pretty much blow me.

Hmmmmm.... maybe I should go back to work, then I wouldn't have to take care of everything else. Then I wouldn't have to hear things that people say to me that end up making me feel guilty about staying home. Then I could also stop being the one that everyone turns to when they need something done or they need a favor. Maybe I should stop picking up in the mornings, since I've been told that it doens't look like I pick up anything.

(Yes... that is our dog's poop. Least he did it by the toilet.)

(Hi boys! Ready for school....)

Recently though, with all of this, I have been feeling like I have lost myself lately doing all these things as well. I have turned into an OCD neat freak with the kids (which it's not their faults, they're just kids for christ's sake). I have forgotten all things that I'm passionate about as well.... learning about simplifying our lives, trying to change our diet to a healthy and more purposeful diet, learning about woman's rights, art, reading, sewing etc. I have turned into a bad friend for some of my best friends, and I've turned into a shoulder for everyone else to cry on. I play go-between for family and friends ALL THE TIME and try to keep the peace. Oh, and if you find me sitting in front of the computer during the day? It's usually doing something NON fun like balancing the budget or trying to plan a trip for our family.

I think what I'm trying to say is that I can't move mountains and I certainly can't grow wings to work faster, never be late, or get it ALL done. Something is going to change around here. I don't know what yet, but something. For starters... I think I'm going to stop answering my phone all the time. Then I'm going to learn how to say NO more often. And until some people start learning to say thank you? I'm not doing everything I do anymore.

Please Help for an Awesome Cause!

Ok... I have a special friend :) And her son is amazing.... He gather's donations and then shaves off his hair and all the money goes to helping kids with cancer.... If you have $20, $10, or even $5 to share.... please CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW TO DONATE! Please leave a comment if you do because I will be letting her know who helped Lex reach his goal!!!!

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