That's exactly how I have felt in the last few weeks.
I am NOT centered nor grounded right now...
I have had experiences, have had numerous important and defining conversations and debates with my hubby and friends, have had family events happen, and all of these have really tested WHAT I believe in as a person.
Right now, I just feel like saying some of what I believe out loud. This is not meant to piss anyone off either directly or indirectly, it's just what I believe....
1. After coming home from Michigan Womyn's Music Festival (more on this later) I am confident that I am a feminist. I find it COMPLETELY empowering to know that I made the choice to be with my children more, raise them with these view points, be married to John, and still maintain a feminist attitude and way of life. There are many females in this world that give a bad meaning to the word "feminist", I would honestly like to believe that I am not one of them and that I give a positive outlook and definition of feminism.
2. I am proud to be surrounded by males in my feminist way of life. I do NOT think males are the enemy, I think they just need to be enlightened as to the ways of a strong woman. Shit, even my dog is male.
3. I am a very good mother. I have faults and yes, I will make mistakes, but everyday I take pride in my whole family. My children may be very energetic, high spirited, and on some days very challenging, but I love them with every part of my being and from others I have heard that they are very kind spirited and loving young men. That makes my heart sing :)
4. When I said I would become PTA President, I will confess... I did not want to be "that" mom. Yet I have realized, I was prejudging the image that I had given to that title. I actually LIKE being PTA President (so far). I like taking the image we all hold of "PTA Presidents" and turning it upside down. I like walking up to school bra-less, gauge eared, multi-colored hair, with tattoos and greeting other parents. I enjoy being a younger mom in this position. Sure, I'll probably make mistakes and it will take time to really get to know everyone but I love shattering society based images of certain people with titles.
5. I am still anti-technology. Not horribly though.... I know the basics of computer use, I own and use a Droid, and I've even been known to answer a few techy questions. However, I still do not ever desire or feel like I need the latest and greatest tech gadget that just hit the market. I will never be that way. (Sorry John)
6. I believe in giving everyone a shot when it comes to being a friend. I think that we are all unique individuals. I also believe that everyone you meet in your life can have meaning for you at some point. People come into and flow out of our lives sometimes for reasons far beyond our understanding. I don't feel I can be a well rounded nor well grounded individual unless I let go of barriers that may prevent me from having the opportunity to learn something or to develop a great friendship.
7. That being said (above), I am currently working on letting go of hazardous relationships. No good friendship is one sided. Also, no one will hurt my children. I'm learning the differences between being used and being in a reciprocal relationship. I have let certain relationships take over my life and over shadow my beliefs in the past, and that is currently all changing. Yes, this hurts in some ways, yet the end result will be much more healthy. I will not live in unhealthy relationships.
8. I will never be able to keep up with the Jones' so I don't even bother trying.
9. I like thrift shopping, bargain hunting, reusing items, or recycling them into another form. You can call me cheap if you want but I down right love it.
10. After the first year of marriage to my husband, I have come to the conclusion that we will always fight. I am Alpha Female, he is Alpha Male. We will just have to agree to disagree on certain things. Makes fighting more enjoyable :)
So yeah, that's some of me in a nutshell. Feels awesome to review some of my core beliefs in this life.
(and a big thank you to the woman in this pic, Nina. You've inspired me to take stock more then you probably know... and of course, where this pic was taken will never be forgotten! Ha!)